Summer is a Great time to Discover Family Stories.

Summer is often the time for family reunions; it’s when we may catch up on news and old stories someone else knew in our family and they often make us laugh. Our  grand-daughter is going to a reunion of the other side of her family tomorrow and I’ve already asked her to get some answers to questions, I’m interested in. A family reunion is an easy time to ask a relative about some past events or people you feel you should know better. You may also find out more when you stay  a little longer with a relative. Speaking to an older relative in particular is often rewarding. I learned of an old story about my grandfather at a Christmas reunion.

So, I’m suggesting to you– ask your older relatives while they are still around. I found out so much later from censuses and wish I’d known to ask about the people shown there. For instance, I thought my father was one of two children and then I discovered that his father had first been married to another woman who had given him four children and died in childbirth in 1884. It took my grandfather 6 years to find another wife, my grandmother, to care for his young children. His oldest may have been about 16 when my father was born so maybe they did not know each other. I wish we’d had a family reunion at which I could have met these four older siblings when I was much younger.

When I was on holiday in Wales 3 years ago, I met two second cousins and discovered loads of information about my grandmother’s sister. I saw that pictures of her children revealed likenesses to my mother’s sisters. It was an exciting find. The stories I was told too confirmed how hard life was in the early 20^th century for miners’ families. Both my grandmother and great-aunt had huge families of eleven and ten.

Through my interest in genealogy, I met a third cousin in USA. We corresponded for a while and I was given pictures of her grandfather, my paternal grandmother’s brother. It could have been my own father as he had the same shape face and just small strays of hair left. I not only discovered how adventurous my great-uncle was in coming to America with two other brothers, I also met my new cousin.  That same cousin is only ten days younger than me and we have similar shaped faces.Later I had a holiday with her and her husband in Florida. That correspondence has been a source of joy then and now. You never know what might happen if you follow through an interest in your family.

Another cousin of my husband’s came from a Welsh background and, on looking at the early 19th century censuses, we discovered that her Vivian family lived just one street over from my Francis great-great grandparents and, added to that, both men were in the plumbing and boiler industries. They probably knew each other. We were both delighted at this possibility of having ancestors living in Llanelli at the same time.

A friend came from Manitoba to live in Leamington. Through an old story that his relatives had travelled from Ontario, we discovered that they were real pioneers, using a ferry boat and stage-coach first to cross to Michigan, then a train to Minnesota and braving at least 10 weeks in long canoes to reach the Canadian border where they had to spend one winter in a sod house! What a great story that became once we traced the route and the time it all took.

It is well worth discovering your family’s roots and enjoying their achievements.  I wrote a story about our local town,  Amherstburg* and found names of black immigrants who came to Canada to be free after 1833 and who obtained land for their part in the local militia back in 1838. Their descendants still live on the land they won over 180 years ago. I love that story.

Have fun discovering more family stories this summer. Summer get-togethers are certainly times to cement family bonds and learn facts and stories that can add more interest to your own life story writing. I’d love to hear how you make out.

• An Unexpected Friendship: Amherstburg 1846

Do you want to discover more family history?

Recently, I was talking to an older lady who wished she’d asked her parents more questions about their lives and relations. I could have said the same thing. I never asked either of my parents about their early life. My mother just told me snippets that grabbed my interest such as my grandmother’s love of visiting churches and her enjoyment of flowers. This came up because my mother saw my own keen interest in our local cathedral in Canterbury. Years later, I discovered that my great grandfather was a Welsh Baptist who helped found a church in Ynyshir, South Wales. Being involved in church ministry, I was delighted with this information which is an important part of my heritage. We became Anglicans after my parents moved to Kent in 1929 but my love of the Bible I feel sure comes from my Welsh family background.

Have you got questions about your own family members who have died? If so, I suggest you ask anyone old enough to remember them to tell you all they know. If they have links with the UK, there are many records on line through Ancestry and also through the Family Records Centre in London UK. In the past, I helped an older lady who thought her family had come to Canada after 1881. A check on the 1901 census in Alberta proved that one great-uncle was born in Ontario in 1865 so she had to re-think when the family came here.

Looking at local history of South Western Ontario, I find many families came as loyalists from USA in the late18th century and quite a few pioneers came from Scotland in the early 19th century. Their names have now been used for local roads and their families still live in our area. It is fascinating to think of settlers who were part of the local militia during the War of 1812-14 and the 1838 rebellion. This past summer, two Church members ensured that their loyal ancestors were acknowledged in restored stones commemorating their part in the 1812-14 War. Visiting one site in a bush, we could imagine how people lived so long ago. I read The Trail of the Black Walnut by G Elmore Reaman published in 1957. It is an absorbing account of what happened to one group of these Loyalists–the thousands of men and women known as the Pennsylvania Dutch who toiled through a trackless wilderness to reach Upper Canada.

Another lady I knew came from Russia along with many Mennonites who were escaping persecution in the early part of the 20th century. It was a hair raising journey to get here. They also spoke German and there was intermarriage with German immigrants too. Some family names were changed because the numerator could not spell or because they chose to blend in; that was hard on the family, I’m sure.

Does your family has a special story to tell, one that you could take pride in knowing? There is always a chance to find out. There are also many useful sites on the internet which help with immigration. PIER 21 has a website for those who landed first in Halifax and I realize we did just that in 1965. Through that website we discovered the actual name of a boat one man’s family came on from Ireland. The University of Waterloo(https://personal.uwaterloo.ca/marj/genealogy/thevoyage.html) has also done plenty of research on immigrants and the way they arrived here too. Local History and Genealogical Societies have much to offer. Through our local HEIRS resource centre(http://www.heirs.ca/), I discovered land records and found that our present home was rented before 1870! Now I need to track backwards to see if there is an early sale of land.

We are fortunate these days to have so many resources on the internet that help us be more accurate when we write up any family history. Fall is a great time to consider doing this. The children are back at school and you can take the time for a quiet chat with an older relative.

You can help to leave a treasure of information for your children. Just think of the possibilities. I will continue this theme in my next few blogs with more useful ideas.

Enjoying Children’s Successes

For  months our grand-daughter was part of a dance group at school practising for a competition in Niagara Falls. She never said much about it except that there were lots of steps to learn. Sometimes she’d be pleased and another time frustrated as they didn’t know what they’d wear till the last week. We kept hoping we could see the dances but we were put off.

Last weekend the girls went off to compete for three days. When they came back , they had good news. They had won one first and a second position in the competition. We were all thrilled that their long months of practice had paid off. In addition our grand daughter left at age fourteen and returned on her fifteenth birthday. I think she will never forget this birthday in 2015 and the joy she had being part of the dance group.

We were all able to share her joy on her return and now we know we are going to see their performance in June. It is not only rewarding for Mayia and her friends but also for the school teacher who put in so many extra hours teaching them. It is so good to be able to rejoice in children’s successes.

I remember my own brother getting first prize for his singing as a boy soprano and later much success as a tenor singing as Feste in Twelfth Night. We were all so proud of him then. My parents were equally proud of our academic achievements because they saw a future for us both. My brother eventually became a doctor and I went on to teach. We knew it gave us a good life and my mother’s hard work and encouragement in particular helped to make it happen.

Taking joy in our children’s success is natural and heart warming for them.I am sure you will have experienced times like that in your life. Please share them if you can.

 

 

 

Being Too Busy

I haven’t written my blog for quite a while because of factors that crowded into my life, taking time from writing. I have missed it!

I did have a holiday during this time which made me think of the value of keeping in touch with old friends.  Spending time with one friend in England was great. We even managed a few days in London in June and saw part of the Queen’s celebratory flotilla come down the Thames. Just being in the crowds of people who were so happy and friendly was a delight. However, the damp day and rain was harder to be outside in. We had a full few days, going to Westminster Abbey,touring the Globe Theatre and getting used to the London bus routes. Each day was planned and we kept going,enjoying sharing a service at the Abbey and hearing musicians play in St Martin’s in the Field quite by accident. Those days were busy in the nicest way.

More often when I’m home, I find myself involved in visiting parishioners in hospital in between trying to keep up with the house and garden. I tend to get too involved and keep thinking I must learn to say ‘No.’ But my concern for others who are sick or in a residential home sends me out time and again. Maybe that happens to you as well.

Recently I had no choice when my knee started giving me trouble and it was nice to have an excuse to relax! I wrote letters to family and friends and read a good book. I am also going to take time to relax each day and take a little more time to pray. Then ,when I do get going, I might be more productive! I know that too much stress from commitments doesn’t help. I also realize that ,if I ever get round to writing my own story, I need to admit to faults about being too busy.

A Unique Gift for Christmas or Hanukkah

Are you looking for a special lasting gift?

Why not give the gift of your time with a close relative or friend and record his/her life story? You could make up a gift card and put it into a Christmas or Hanukkah card, offering your time to sit with someone to record his/her story. Our lives are usually so full that offering our time is in itself a gift for any season.

Too few of us value our own lives and accomplishments. Maybe you have the time to write about your own life for a younger relative or you can write for an older relative who would enjoy telling his story. Writing your story for a child who is looking at Family History at school is invaluable and special for him or her. If you keep a journal of your time spent with a family over the holiday season, a child could add her/his thought to it. It would make memorable reading later on.

I have just been recording on a digital recorder, the memories of a lady of 94 whose family want her story and her experiences written down ( as well as recorded on CD). It is a gift they can all share at Christmas and it gives the lady who is telling her story, a great deal of pleasure. Another friend wanted to record her life for her daughters so I asked questions and she told her story into the recorder. I know it is wonderful for a family to have the audio recording after someone has died because it is another link with the person. I recorded my father in law who died 20 years ago ; my grand children can now hear his voice and funny stories. That delights us.

Taking time to do this is therapeutic for the storyteller and the recorder. It reveals a keen interest in someone’s life and shows that another person cares deeply enough to take the time or spend the money to make a book our of the recording. If you have a personal digital recorder, you will find it an asset for interviewing older relatives. It is unobtrusive and it is voice activated. You can also upload to your computer to produce a CD as a gift.

There is also much fun in looking up old photos and generating talk about that experience. Meeting family members at Christmas (or any holiday)  time is another opportunity for looking at old albums and of producing more memorable pictures that can be used in a life story. I find one memory leads to another and funny stories can be incorporated in a memoir verbatim with the corresponding photograph.

I urge you to take the time to do this. If you need a short guide, there is one on my website at http://www.truestorybooks.com. I suggest methods, questions to use and give help with technical details. Having done fifteen life stories, I know they are gifts that are treasured.

People who have influenced me for the Better

My mother and some of her brothers and sisters.

Having to write a sketch of someone in my life for a writers meeting, made me think of people who have directly influenced my own direction in life. I also looked up to some wonderful people who imitated Christ in the way they lived for other people. They  became my heroes, exemplifying the best way to leave one’s mark on the world.

I had several godly women in my life who set me an example of kindness to others, faith in God and especially loving one another. My mother was a busy shop owner who loved Jesus;  she always put us first in her thoughts.  She encouraged us at school, would not take “I can’t” for an answer and always told us to remember those who had been kind to us. Another dictum of hers was, “If it isn’t honest, helpful or kind, don’t say it.”  I don’t remember her ever being angry. If she was annoyed or upset, she sang a hymn until she felt better.

My mother had two lovely sisters who were more than kind to me and my brother. One gave us unconditional love and told silly stories; another was a teacher who showed us interesting ways to learn and develop a better vocabulary. She introduced me to the theatre and music, and took us to a Butlin’s Holiday Camp in 1947 geared to young children like us after teaching all year.Years later, I played games with our children in the car that my aunt had played with me. One great game is making up a quick sentence from letters on a car:so ACFG becomes ‘all children follow games’.

I also had another aunt who took us to Church, then Sunday School in Wales in wartime and encouraged us in our faith. Like my mother, she was a member of the Mother’s Union and she spent many hours helping with church outreach as well as bringing up my five cousins. But she always made time for us to have fun as teenagers too. She sang a song that is almost a motto for me; it is called “If I can help somebody, then my living will not be in vain.” My own life story would be incomplete without the example of such fine family members.  I believe anyone’s life story will reveal the  influence of close relatives.

I was fortunate to be part of a big loving family. My mother was the fifth child of eleven children and,because of circumstances in the 1930’s, her youngest brother came to live with us while I grew up. He was one of the kindest people I have ever known. He was always available to help my busy mother; he taught me to drive a car and how to play tennis well. My father suffered from arthritis and heart problems so, having a young uncle was an asset. My mother also had four bachelor brothers who lived in the family home where we lived during wartime. They had all started in the coal mines but two got out through having silicosis and were both drivers who refined my driving skills and my brother’s on very hilly Welsh mountain roads. Because they became adults during the depression, they had not married and their love for us was strong. Our oldest uncle was self educated and could quote poetry and  parts of Shakespeare’s plays. He also loved the stories of the author Walter Scott. Another uncle could tap dance and would join me to entertain the family while our other uncle who was involved as a hospital engineer had a good baritone voice  and showed us the value of learning to sing and enjoy singing together. I remember him singing with my auntie May when the war was over. They sang so well together and we all joined in in harmony. Those kinds of experiences are never forgotten and filled my childhood with joy, love and security. To this day, music is always a part of family gatherings with my cousins.

Outside my family there were others; good teachers who opened up literature  and history to me and, most of all my old music teacher. She was very demanding but showed appreciation for good lesson preparation. At her historic home in Canterbury, I discovered a different world full of music, theory, old pictures and wonderful recordings. My appreciation for classical music dates from my five years with Miss Bridge when I was at the Simon Langton grammar school.

Even people I read about and immediately admired have had an influence. One was the missionary Gladys Aylward who went to China; another was Dr.Albert Schweitzer, medical missionary in Africa and another, Elizabeth Fry, a prison reformer. They all sought to help others and I have tried to do the same in a small way. Jesus said he came to serve and He is certainly worth emulating. It is a blessings to help those who need support.

Difficult days- do we include them or not?

Recently, a good friend died and it made me think of those difficult times that are hard to talk about. Do we avoid them in a memoir or not? I think if we can find something positive from the experience of a serious illness, a family death or a misunderstanding, it could add some value to our story.

We may have learned from an unpleasant happening; we all learn from our mistakes. I remember a boy whom I did not like chasing me around on his bike when I went home from playing tennis in our village.I complained to my mother  who knew about his family. She suggested that, instead of saying ,”I can’t like him or talk to him” that I should try. One Friday, I did stop riding and said hello to him. He said nothing so I asked how he was and why he enjoyed cycling. He murmured that it was how he passed the time. My attitude to him changed because I had faced a situation that bothered me. I also learned a little compassion.

I know life wasn’t easy for my mother after my father had his back broken but her determination to give us a good education ,made her work long hours in her shop and become very successful buying what people needed during and after WWII. It was difficult for my father who was always in pain and dealing with his pain and emotions was one way I learned how to understand others who suffer.

Wartime brought me many years of separation from my parents. Today war has left many homeless and in far worse condition than my brother and I were with relatives who loved us. Living with older uncles gave me opportunities to hear stories of their past and a fascinating story about how my grandfather came to live in the Welsh valley. I loved those stories so, out of an unhappy separation, I discovered something about my family’s adventurous spirit and I bonded with cousins who would normally have lived miles away.

The pain of losing family and friends is still there, especially one close friend I lost when we were both young mothers and when I felt she had so much to give. She had a brain tumour at 32 years old and died within two years. Her courage when she went blind and her joy  with our visits to her on some days was amazing. I still miss her but I feel privileged to have experienced her friendship and her acceptance of her illness. I think I will always include these difficult times in my own story because it was through them that I learned about courage, love and some understanding of other people.

Lives that can influence you are worth including in Your Story

I am coming up to another birthday and it makes me think of the people who have influenced my life. Because certain people influence us by the way they live life, I think they are worthy of mention in our own life story.

It goes without saying that parents are often a major influence. My father was determined that I should have music lessons as he loved it and only played by ear. My mother was equally determined that my brother and I had a good education. She was prepared to spend money to give us one. If anyone asked her ( in 1950’s) why she chose to encourage me to go to university, she’d say, “If you educate a boy, you educate an individual. If you educate a girl, you educate a family.” Her words, her maxim, have influenced me in encouraging our children to read and go onto further studies. Another person who influenced me was an aunt who was a teacher and who lost her husband in WWII as well as her mother and baby within a year. It was a real tragedy but she showed me her strength of character and her faith in God through it all.  She later showed the same faith in dealing with cancer 35 years later. That example has stayed with me too. I had other aunts who were loving and kind to many people and a mother who always sought to help others. I have tried to follow in their footsteps.

I write this about my own family to show you that people in our lives can and should be incorporated into our own life stories or memoirs because of their influence on us. You may remember an influential teacher or a mentor later in life. If you are married, your spouse will have been an influence too. I would encourage you to look for those influences, for sayings that have stayed with you and for lasting values they passed on that affected the direction your life has taken.

Use feelings to enliven your text and make for more interesting reading

You may have really strong feelings to vent and getting them down on paper will be good therapy for you. You may also want to add colour, life and texture through your descriptions or inserted remembered conversations. Weave your emotions into the text; let the reader feel the heat of a WWII battle or the thrill of your first ride on a roller coaster. Do this by setting your scene in some detail with what the weather was like and what you chatted about. Every person has drama, suspense, conflict and joy in their lives. Express this and your biography will be more interesting to read.

If it was a lazy summer day, show that through your colourful descriptions in longer sentences. If it was a frightening situation, keep sentences short. Show how you rushed around by quoting short bits of conversations that have stayed with you.

I remember a hot July day on a sandy beach in Wales when I dozed off because I felt the children were safe looking for crabs. Then one of the boys cried out, “Nanny, come here. Matthew has fallen into the water.” I can hear the urgency in Richard’s voice even now. I got up, knocking over the deck chair and rushed to the pools of water near the rocks. Matthew had slipped on a rock and fallen onto his back. He was soaked but not hurt. Just in shock. Fortunately the water was shallow enough for me to lift him up easily. He was just scared. I held him close. Then I dried him off and wrapped him in my big blue sweater.  But both boys still remember that incident, although they laugh about it now.

This is just one memory I had but it may help you to see how I remember it. You may remember other incidents in your own life that come back to you as you smell something or hear an old song. Every time I go to a bakery, I remember going to buy bread with seven pence when I was about seven. It was just down the road from my aunt’s house and I loved going there. The warm delicious aroma of newly baked bread was irresistible! I paid the baker and took the bread wrapped in a white bag, holding its warmth close to me. Before I was ten steps away, I bent over the loaf and dug my thumb and fingers into one end to taste the wonderful hot bread. There was quite a hole in it by the time I reached our house. I can hear my aunt say, “Not again!” And then she’d laugh. I was lucky.

What happens when you smell a special dish cooking or after you hear music that brings tears to your eyes? Do you remember a place or a person by the scent another may wear?

Do you ever get the feeling of “déjà vu”?  Using these memories and feelings will enliven your text and interest your readers. Why not try it?

4 Core Ways to Develop Good Writing Habits

Have you ever gathered all kinds of information for a life story and sat wondering how to start? Thinking a way through can be a great help.  With any kind of writing, I keep in mind the mnemonic devise, CORE. It can help writing either a short story or a longer piece of fiction like a novel.

Three years ago, I completed a historical novel. It is much like writing a biography as far as organizing one’s ideas and then writing and editing the text.  In some past blogs about story writing, I’ve given tips on how to collect useful resources but not on how to get on with the job.   For me, the CORE of writing is essentially this: each time I find that I follow  FOUR steps in producing a story. I tend to feel more confident when I have evidence to back up a historical fiction novel.

You can

1. Collect resources –  books, photos, pictures, internet resources and any useful discussions noted. It is useful to find books that give you more background information. I wanted to know about Tecumseh and read two books about his life. I found one picture that verified where my heroine was! It came as a result of talking to another teacher I knew who happened to have a picture of my Catharine at 18, in Indian dress because she was living with the Shawnee for 4 years.
2. Organise  what you find for a life story chronologically or by events. I found a journal by another relative who imagined what happened to Catharine as she had quite an adventure travelling with her family and being captured at a time when there were many conflicts. This exciting find spurred me on and it also gave me ideas for the plot.
3. Write your story, using your resources and your own imagination. If your grandparent is still alive get them to talk about times long ago and imagine what life was like for them.  Keep on writing and only Revise when you have finished it all.
4. Edit any writing begins with re-reading the story you have produced. Then you can edit it for any slight plot changes that enhance it, Afterwards edit it for correct grammar, spelling and punctuation. This  proofreading is essential to improve the quality of your writing. You can also use a professional editor.

Collecting information can involve recording interesting information of an interview with the person you admire or of a good talk you heard about the subject (if it is to be a true story). I have spent a year reading books and collecting useful resources and making cards, I can refer to. This also helps if one wants to list references in a book. You might find useful photos in your own albums but also some interesting world events on the internet. Old pictures are now more available there to give a feel for the time.  I needed a Delaware man and found the right picture on a First Nations website.

Once you’ve collected information, start to organise how you will use it in your writing. One old family group photo prompted me to write about a person’s early life.  With one professional musician, I used his ‘bio’ in a program to introduce the man and lead to the person behind it. I saw it as a way to hook my readers. A family history about someone being captured in 1780 was a wonderful way to start a novel for young adults.

Having an idea how to organize the life story or plot will help you write more fluently. When I have written my first chapter, I read it over to see if it grabs me. When I write for younger students, I try to get right into the action. Once I introduce other characters, the story develops.   I try to put myself in my reader’s place and give him or her the most interesting view of my subject  or character. If I am retelling someone’s story, I make sure that I use words, he may have used. Using conversation brings a lifestory or a novel alive too.

When I have most of my book, I ask a friend to look at it, as it is good to have another opinion. One friend told me she wished she knew more about a secondary character as she went along. We discussed it and I valued her opinion. That was a way to sort details that affected how I ended that story.

Another friend did a copy-editing job for me. I needed to improve my own writing using more appropriate punctuation even after my friend and I had revised the text. I applied my CORE method to this bit of writing. Some of the best editing can be done when you read your story OUT LOUD, especially if it a short story with a punch line. See how it comes across. I always do this writing a picture book for the youngest children.

Using certain steps like CORE makes one much more confident and produces a better result. After producing 16 books, I am still learning! Now I have to learn to make an ebook to put up on my website!

When it comes to printing your story, the CORE method still helps. You have to choose the best layout; printers often do adult books in size 6 inches by 9 inches. then you have to choose where to put relevant pictures (using insert in MS Word documents and formatting the size.)

Doing this, you are organizing your pages in the layout. You also need to plan for a dedication page and acknowledgements to those who helped you by reading the book etc. Part of your organization is listing any references at the end of a book If you recorded those  at first, it is no problem.

Be prepared to revise anything to improve the final product. When your rough print copy comes there is still room to revise it. Most printers allow for a few errors.

Bring your efforts to an end only when you are satisfied with the cover; it helps to sell your book or, if it is a gift just in the family, it is preferable to finish it well. I had several people read my book, edit mistakes and suggest improvements. It took me 10 months to produce one doctor’s life story and two years to finish a historical novel Two at the Crossroads about two women Catharine Malott Girty and Tecumapese, Tecumseh’s sister.  But it was worth it to see how much people enjoyed the story told through the eyes of two strong women who lived about 2oo years ago, during the War of 1812-14.

I hope you can use CORE to help you produce a life story or a novel you’ll always wanted to write.  I wish you well with your own work.May you be glad you wrote it.